Swarm/Destination:Infestation (2007)

13 10 2009
"You've got something on your face... no, there..."

"You've got something on your face... no, there..."

ANTS ON A PLANE! is probably the best way to describe Destination: Infestation which cropped-up on the Sci Fi Channel under the name Swarm. Alongside The Hive, D:I is yet another movie about ants, this time hailing from the jungles of South America that manage to infest a human host and invade a plane. This movie has a twist though: if you hate men, you’ll probably enjoy it.

For the most part the characters are traditional b-movie fodder, sexy single male air marshall (Antonio Sabato Jr) teams up with sexy single scientist (Jessalyn Gilsig, currently in US tv series Glee) to defeat the infestation which somehow is more intelligent and more aggressive than the average ant. Needless to say, lives are put at stake, one of the crew gets it and panicky idiots threaten the lives of many. All the panicky idiots are men however. One is a panicky, annoying drunken college student. Another guy has a fear of ants and understandably is terrified and as such is also annoying to the rest of the less-freaked, less-believable characters. However they don’t try and assist the phobic passenger, rather they persist in telling him to shut up constantly, particularly the thinly disguised lesbian couple who have a baby with them. The baby cries constantly during the ordeal even during the shots where the infant is clearly smiling and giggling and yet the howling soundtrack carries on.

The Air Marshall, Ethan, is also a cardboard cut-out and exists purely to assist the sexy Dr Carrie Ross in her ant-hunt, even when the plane’s fuel line needs fixing it’s Carrie who saves the day, leaving Ethan to look cute holding a puppy for the final scenes (I kid you not). Back at US Homeland Security the only character who will help the plane is a woman.

Despite writer Mary Weinstein’s obvious agenda, the movie does have some snappier than usual dialogue and fun shots (the toilet bowl point-of-view that’s crawling with ants is great fun) which certainly helps lift it above the usual b-movie standard, no doubt helped by veteran TV director George Mendeluk.

D:I is by no means great but it’s one of the better monster of the week movies we’ve seen. Not so lame.

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